The connection between this story and media is tenuous at best, but it's a good safety lesson. Learn from my mistakes, grasshoppers.
I get a phone call from a guy today saying he's doing a nationwide survey for Cosmo magazine. The first few questions are standard: age, marital status, kids, do I work, what's my job.He then says the next questions are for an annual sex survey and will be explicit, and am I OK with answering them.
If you know me, you know that of course I'm OK with talking about sex. In my mind it's like talking about politics or movies, or in some ways, water or air. I think we all benefit from demystifying it and talking about it matter of factly.
Questions are personal but not lacivious -- how many times, have you done this or that, body image, etc .My husband overhears me saying "16, 1 week, no," and says to get the name of the survey company the guy works for. I wave him off and say "No, it's a national survey, it's fine."
Usually in a national survey the surveyer doesn't ask you if you'll touch your clitoris for him after spending 10 minutes asking you personal questions about your personal history. I said "You're a phone surveyer." He said "That makes it so much better." I said "Goodbye, sir."
Do I feel kind of stupid, yes. Will I ask for the name of the survey company in the future, yes. In fact, by not knowing my rights and doing things blindly, I kind of feel like the quintessential Cosmo Girl.
But here's the cool thing -- I don't really feel embarassed. I'm shocked by that! I talked about my sexual assault, sex after pregnancy, body image. I'm OK with my history. I'm OK with my past. I've done alot to make that happen. I've come a long damn way. It's awesome.
So, I won't go so far as to say Thanks, Phone Perv, even though that would be a funny last line. But instead, No Hard Feelings, Phone Perv.
Anyway, karma comes around. You'll get yours
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3 comments:
I got a call very similar to this about 3 yrs. ago. I also answered the questions until he told me that part of the survey was for him to describe his fantasy to me. Umm, no thanks. I felt so stupid. Anyway, wanted you to know you are not the only one who believed it was a survey for cosmo and then realized it was some perverted freak.
"I've come a long damn way. It's awesome." A phone call like the above would still set me into a fuge of a coma. I appreciate your kind comments regarding the artwork.
Thank you both for your comments.
15 years of hard work and a lot of help from a lot of people has allowed me to come out the other side where something like this doesn't dismantle me. And I am so grateful.
--J
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