Thursday, February 8, 2007

NYT is the New Pink is the New Blog

I will explain where I've been and what's next soon. But for now --

As you've probably heard by now, Anna Nicole Smith is dead. She was 39 years old. Sad end to a sad life. Was I a fan or even a rubbernecker in her bizarre white trash Marilyn Monroe as performance art existence? No. But I certainly had nothing personal against her.

But apparently at some point in her short life, Anna Nicole kicked the dogs and fucked the boyfriends of Abby Goodnough and Margalit Fox. What else would account for this catty attempt at news reporting that reads like an obituary about the school slut written for the school paper by every other girl in the tenth grade:

Anna Nicole Smith Is Found Dead in Florida

In other news, astronauts always wear diapers in outer space; Nancy Pelosi can fly whatever the hell she wants if she promises to get close enough to Cheney to shiv him with a letter opener in the next State of the Union address; and somebody had better start covering global warming or Darfur or the Mess in Iraq again before I put my eyes out.

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